tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1697741764538750838.post5698481457383620255..comments2023-06-30T11:58:01.664-04:00Comments on Baptism by Fire: Stay mum or not.Wolfershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12937704236275533865noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1697741764538750838.post-17836409595907419642013-09-15T23:04:29.109-04:002013-09-15T23:04:29.109-04:00Dear Wolfers,
I'm way behind on my blog readin...Dear Wolfers,<br />I'm way behind on my blog reading, but I've been seeing you and your wonderfully supportive comments all around the blogosphere, and I wanted to drop by to share a heartfelt thank you for your kindness, insights and strength. Will be back. Much love to you. PamelaPamela T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11474998003921896431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1697741764538750838.post-77157002333040391722013-09-03T04:55:32.295-04:002013-09-03T04:55:32.295-04:00Oh yes, you're right about IF strengthening fr...Oh yes, you're right about IF strengthening friendship as well. I've also found some kindred spirits along the way that I wouldn't have connected otherwise - so even though I don't want to meet people through infertility, but I'm glad there are those who've gone a similar path so that I don't feel alone. :-) Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1697741764538750838.post-59609115454198254302013-09-02T14:46:35.727-04:002013-09-02T14:46:35.727-04:00Thank you for your kind words, Mali... Thank you for your kind words, Mali... Wolfershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12937704236275533865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1697741764538750838.post-18075561594974700412013-09-02T14:45:02.112-04:002013-09-02T14:45:02.112-04:00Indeed it does! :) Indeed it does! :) Wolfershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12937704236275533865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1697741764538750838.post-72116081356081734112013-09-02T14:44:11.746-04:002013-09-02T14:44:11.746-04:00Oh Amel, I know what you mean about oversharing- ...Oh Amel, I know what you mean about oversharing- in beginning of journey (after surgery), I did overshare for two or three months, especially grief and sorrow. It was later when I talked about infertility after summer- sometimes I wonder are we talking so much about infertility, an emotional trauma/grief that make folks uncomfortable, or that we are talking about something of a taboo that make folks uneasy to discuss about? <br /><br />You're right, infertility does take a toll on some friendship, yet strengthens- and unfortunately for someone I knew, and presumed we'd be in the same boat, didn't work out. Wolfershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12937704236275533865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1697741764538750838.post-73066935495636967592013-09-02T11:19:48.041-04:002013-09-02T11:19:48.041-04:00Agreed. And I'm sorry too. :(Agreed. And I'm sorry too. :( loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1697741764538750838.post-50687114068952085192013-09-02T07:56:35.455-04:002013-09-02T07:56:35.455-04:00Oh, forgot to say, I'm GLAD my blog has helped...Oh, forgot to say, I'm GLAD my blog has helped you in your grief process. :-) Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1697741764538750838.post-4065378464495849712013-09-02T07:55:17.792-04:002013-09-02T07:55:17.792-04:00I'm also sorry that after 15 years of friendsh...I'm also sorry that after 15 years of friendship, she chose to have that kind of exit. I've also felt what you felt - in the beginning of my IF journey, I was like screaming for help, for compassion so I shared so many things related to infertility and I know I overshared with my close friends via emails, but the fact that they were at a loss on what to say/do made me feel even "drowned" - until I found this IF community in the blogosphere and I've also bought Pamela's book that has helped me a lot, so same as yourself, I'm forever grateful for this IF community and those who've shared a lot about their journey, especially those who end up without kids. <br /><br />I remember one time when I replied to an FB comment in my own page (below my photo) to stuff related to infertility and one close friend said, "MY GOODNESS!!! I can't believe that it seems ANYTHING can trigger the talk of infertility and you've done it so many times already."<br /><br />I was really shocked when I read that, so I wrote an email to her directly, asking her, "Are you REALLY sure that I've been talking about infertility topics so much? I feel that I have tried to lessen the frequency of sharing infertility stuff via emails to you girls and instead I've poured my thoughts about infertility in my blog, but if you really feel that I've shared too much again, I'd really like to know so that I can stop oversharing."<br /><br />I even went back to my sent folder and tried to find out how many times I had talked about or mentioned infertility in my group emails within the past 3-6 months, but nothing much came up. Only a few times at the most. <br /><br />Thankfully she replied, saying that after thinking about it, she agreed that I hadn't really talked often about infertility lately. But to me, her view of my infertility journey made me feel like the times when (she felt) I had overshared were probably too intense/too detailed for her that nowadays it seems that if I talk about infertility out of the blue, it reminds her of all the oversharing that I've done. So my conclusion: infertility does take a toll on friendship. Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1697741764538750838.post-9517987869536310962013-09-01T16:59:18.205-04:002013-09-01T16:59:18.205-04:00I think you're right -that it is more about he...I think you're right -that it is more about her than about you. She maybe came from a time when it wasn't acceptable to grieve, and perhaps now, seeing the support you get, the different ways you have to express yourself and find support and spread the word, she feels resentful. Maybe it's even bringing up feelings she didn't deal with -after all, trying to "get over it" too soon doesn,t allow growth or healing. I'm sorry she reacted this way - for her, for you, and for your friendship.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com