Ice

It is quite hard for me to figure where my emotions are these days.  Ha!  As if they are eggs, hidden among the straw in the henhouse.     In a way, it does make sense- after all when exploring emotions, I get 'pecked' by the remembrance, "Childless" and I try to withdraw my hand hoping that it is not true.

Too late, the hand is already bleeding, as my heart does.  That's the best analogy I could think of.

Today, I took a long walk with my dogs, away from humanity.  Hmmm, there were remarkable notes of babies everywhere.  Not human.   Animals.  A doe with her twins among the trees.  A squirrel carrying her baby, his tail wrapped around her neck across the parking lot.  Two sparrow fledglings practicing flying under the oak tree.  A possum carrying several babies on her back.

I watched the antics, and I felt...  nothing.       No pain, no joy.  No grief, no happiness.  No anger, no contentment.   Nothing.   Just emptiness.




::photos:  Henhouse-  http://www.commonweeder.com/2010/12/16/hen-house-4/
Squirrel- http://www.arkive.org/grey-squirrel/sciurus-carolinensis/image-A9700.html