I'm back, and I am still around.
Second anniversary on this blog since Feb 2, 2012.
Second waypost since the surgery.
Second year since everything crashed around me.
Yes, in past, I have written posts in reminding myself that it's okay to walk my own path, taking time in grief, and not to rush myself.
Yet, here I find myself nowadays, disappointed that I hadn't gotten over my grief. So there is this voice in my mind, saying...
Hypocrite.
I am still working on ignoring that nasty voice.
I'll need to start reading y'all blogs again, and start reading that book 'Way of Forgiveness" by D. Patrick Miller- I have been pushing off reading that. I need to reinforce reminding myself that it's OKAY to have setbacks, it's OKAY to stop and take deep breaths, it's OKAY to be on my own pace, and to stop pushing myself.
I'm human, and that's what I keep forgetting that. We all can't be superwomen everyday.
P.S. will do Bucket list for checking off 2013, in a future post (something to look forward to.)
Glad you're back. :) I can sure understand the need to pull away and inward sometimes, though. I think grief can be like a spiral: the same triggers (Feb. is a tough time for me, too) and setbacks come around again and again, but we're not really stuck in the same place ... there's some movement, even if it's not in a straight line.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on two years of blogging, and getting past all those other "anniversary" mileposts! And yes, it's OK to travel this road your own pace!
ReplyDeleteI think that when we feel that we double-back on that grief part, we feel that we're doing it all over again, but in my own experience it's not exactly the same. Each time I learn different things. Each time I let go of something different (or deal with different parts of the many losses). I remember in the beginning I felt frustrated as well because I wanted to say "Just how many times am I going to circle back?" but that only made me more upset. Instead, when I shifted it into "What can I learn this time?" it makes the journey all the more bearable and I can even say I'm excited to learn the new lessons.
ReplyDeleteSo HUGS for you!!!!