From "Young Frankenstein" (1974), there is this scene, one of my favorites in which I'd like to share with you- the first meeting between Igor and Dr. Frankenstein.
Igor: Dr Frankenstein....
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen."
Igor: You're putting me on.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "No... "Frederick."
Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen."
Igor: I see.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You must be Igor. (pronouncing it 'ee-gor')
Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor."
Igor: Well, they were wrong, aren't they?
Going in and out of the doctors' offices in late 2011, to determine what was going on in my uterus, with the noticeable bump that could pass for a 4-month pregnancy, there were many ways I could cope with this, in trying to get some control of something that was wildly getting out of control.
I have a morbid sense of humor, I admit, and that's what I did.
Remembering the movie, especially this scene- "What hump?", I started to call the bump "Igor."
Don't get me wrong, I knew it wasn't a baby. I needed desperately to add humor to an already bleak situation.
While talking with friends, I'd refer the bump as "Igor." I didn't want to think about the bump as a tumor, a cyst, or even cancer, but of an annoying pest, yet right there when you think he's not there.
"You know how in that movie, Igor said his name is pronounced "eye-gor?"
"Yeah I remember that."
"Well, THIS Igor, it is pronounced "Ee-gore. They are gonna be twins, kinda. Ugly, pesky but a relief when out of sight."
Silent with a stare
Yup, how sicky my humor could go!
Before going under on the day of the hysterectomy, I stared at the doctor, telling her- "I want pictures of Igor." She looked perplexed. Before, I sunk into the darkness, the interpreter (who is also a friend) explained what Igor was.
So, when I saw the doctor the day after the surgery, she reassured me that there were photographs taken of the fibroid. She then described the size of the fibroid, that was removed along with the uterus. She explained about many blood vessels she found attached to the tumor. The size and numbers of blood vessels surprised the doctor, especially with it complicating the surgery, on top of finding out that one ovary was wrapped up by a fibroid, which was not noticed on either ultrasounds or MRI. It was removed, too. I recalled nodding in numbness at the information sinking into me, one ovary less, which led me to forget about Igor.
It was a week and so after surgery, when I got a email from an address that was not familiar to me. I was hesitant but I went ahead when I noticed the company in the end- name of the hospital where I had the surgery. After downloading two photos, I then opened the first one- not sure about what to expect. At first, I wasn't sure what I was looking at- it was all red, pink and bumps- kinda like a brain. It was then I realized the photo was zoomed up over 100%, so I was looking at one part of the picture. So I zoomed down, so I'd see the whole photo.
I stared fixed at what I was seeing, and then I realized...this was Igor.
I was mesmerized with what I was seeing. "So that's you, that f**ker."
Ravager of my uterus. Baby dream-destroyer. Cause of all the fear and the anxiety. Childless not by choice, end of being a biological mother.
And not even one hint of cancer, as they tested in the labs. (and that's a post in the future.)
For the next few weeks, in the dark of night, I'd creep to the laptop and open the photos, feeling if I should be busted like the husband in the Farm State commercial, where his wife grabbed the phone and said "who is this?"
I decided to deal with that by creating a meme, only to me, putting totogether the Igor from Young Frankstein and the fibroid- and from there, I found I didn't need to look at the photos/meme anymore. So it was a validation that it all happened, and you know..I'm okay with that.
Oh for the meme? I'm keeping it for myself, to remind myself sometimes humor is needed for survival.