Looking at the child who needs to be adopted soon, I determined, I didn't want him to wait that long (especially that I hadn't done any start on adopting process, even less the application)- if there's a family who can give him a forever home sooner than I could... that's what he needs.
At least, I tried.
Of course, that's easier to say.
In response, I had found myself buying toys and snacks for my furry kids. I had a good time filling two darling stockings I found at Target; Lola and Hairy would absolutely love the presents! Lola and Hairy are opposites. Hairy likes sedate objects, brain-stimulating (like toys that have snacks in them, not easily dispersing), while Lola likes fetch-able toys (tennis balls, squeaky small dolls that can be thrown, etc). Hairy likes to be brushed and groomed, while Lola prefers shirts and bows. She really thinks she's a human baby. so that's a win-win for me.
Anyway, there was a complication, in which I suspect why my response was stronger to the Facebook announcement of the deaf child seeking adoption as I shared in the last post. You see- my cousin and his wife had their second baby more than a week ago. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them. It's like... everyone are having babies more often in the family. I'm trying to exercise a reality check with myself to remind that it's not because of me, but that it's the young folks wanting to have children. However a darker voice within my heart states: "You sure they aren't trying to have babies just to avoid becoming infertile like you?"
I try to swat that question away, but sometimes it's harder to do so on some days- sometimes I wish I am deaf to that horrible demon pitching self-guilty accusations and self-blaming barbs at me.
Earlier today, I had a thought, watching the very pregnant co-worker waddling across the room;
This year I'm getting coal from Santa.
Well- if I had a coal burner, I could stay warm.