Right now, I'm in the hospital- my uterus and one ovary (wrapped up in a fibroid) had been removed yesterday. I hadn't yet allowed myself to think of the context of that surgery, otherwise I'd be bawling and that'd hurt my stomach (they did a vertical cut, hence no laughter, coughing or sneezing).
I had seen the doctor today, who was here to follow up. She reported that they did not expect the cyst to be bigger than a cantaloupe; they were surprised to find that it was bigger (hence the longer vertical cut), the length/width as a real football
Main reason I hadn't allowed myself to think is, I believe, that it isn't 'yet real.' I know the vertical cut is there, I can see it, but I hadn't yet seen any photos of the cyst that I had requested for. At least, I have an ovary, which is good. Should be sufficient if I consider surrogacy.
Seeing so many folks comment on my photos/status since yesterday is out of the world- I didn't expect to get this amount of care. I was thinking, "since no one showed up at the rehab hospital to see me (recovering from two broken legs and broken c-6 vertebra, why should they care now?" yes, I sound pitiful, but I need that. A majority wishes me getting well, better, while others spoke of their experience (with hysterecony), which helps me realize I'm not alone. Actually there are friends that I hadn't spoke to for a long time, had opened up to me in private messages, saying they had too experienced an abdominal hysterconoy and what helped them out mostly is support and patience. so I' looking forward to it.....
Oh, trust me, I'll break down crying, but for now, nothing. I'll wait for my dearest close friend to come here in 2 weeks (2/28th) and I'll then feel safe to do so.