Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Echoes of emotions

Being Deaf all my life, I'm very much visual both in the external and internal worlds.  I'll do my best in explanations....

What I mean by that is when I feel, it is very much visual, instead of thinking 'words' in my mind.  When I ponder, it's very much 'seen' in my mind, very much like daydreaming and being present in the moment.   Now when I look around me, I'm quite a detail oriented; I observe the details around me in the environment and use an conscious effort to understand the causes, not effects only.

It is actually a task for me to think in visual, and then translate into words.  I use American Sign Language, which is a visual language, with its own syntax and grammar.  It has no written language, but it does exist among a majority of the Deaf community.   The two guys down there in the photos are poets using the American Sign Language to 'write art' in the air, hence the "Flying words".

I admit sometimes it's hard to describe my emotions; which I find funny because, believe it or not, I'm a mental health counselor.   What helps me with connecting with  my own emotions is I rely on images and visuals to go "ah ha, that one is exactly what I feel like!"      Pininterest and Facebook friends are sure helpful thro, that they are often not aware on finding 'just right' pictures for me to nail on.

Now what I felt as last night, doubt in my painting and whether I am asking too much of myself; was it even okay to ask for compliments sometimes? (from one of my favorite web comics: Sinfest)

Another one from the same website, as this morning, not up to baby drama nor motherhood, don't even talk about the P-word.

As you can see, the artist seems to have a knack to 'interpret' my moods without my assistance.   

It'd be a good day if I can go though it without symbols of fertility  today.  

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